A Spiritual Alternative to Life & Relationships

Have you reached a point in your life where you long for a meaningful relationship, whether this be a companion, significant other or marriage partner? If this is the case, you’re not alone. As of 2016, statistics reveal that 109 million Americans, 18 and older are single. That’s 45% of US residents. This book is designed to help you discover your next or most essential relationship. By “most essential relationship” I mean a sustainable relationship that meets the emotional, physical, intellectual and spiritual needs of both partners.


“Incredible workshop; the practical illustrations you use in your five-step program were enthusiastically received by our singles! If these principles are applied by those who attended, they will “see clearly” how God’s teachings can help them discover their “most essential” relationship in life. I would highly recommend this workshop to other Singles Directors in all denominations.”

Ms. Amber Folk, Director of Singles, North District Chairman, the First United Methodist Church, Houston, TX

My own quest to find my most essential relationship was a key component of an ongoing spiritual exercise I refer to as my “Flash Point Experiment.” My purpose for launching this experiment was to try and make my life more balanced and complete so I would be better prepared for any and all of life’s lessons and relationships. What I have learned from my Experiment serves as the basis for this 5-Step course of instruction. The 5-Steps, coupled with the Primessential Principles and the ACTION ITEMS accompanying each step, constitutes what I refer to as the “Flash Point Process.”

This book provides a proven guide for those times when you find yourself alone and at a Crossroads of Uncertainty. A Crossroads of Uncertainty is any point in life where you find yourself at an impasse and are uncertain about which way to turn or path to take. The Flash Point Process will help you get past this juncture by providing the skills, exercises and tools you need to recognize the path or course of action that will provide the life lessons and experience you need to attain a fulfilling relationship.

What you are searching for now, is not necessarily your future marriage partner, but to discover who or what is next – the life lesson or person that is most essential for you to experience at this stage in your life. For some individuals this experience might be no immediate relationship – in order to give themselves time to acquire the life balance necessary to prepare for their next companion. For others, it might be a series of transitional relationships – to discover who and what they need in the way of love, intimacy, compatibility, nurturing, trust, emotional support, understanding, etc. And for still others, it might be the relationship – one that’s sustainable and meets their companionship needs.

This is not a typical dating, self-help book in the sense that it is neither a list of dating do’s and don’ts, nor is it a playlist of tips on how to win at The Dating Game. Instead, the Flash Point Process will provide a spiritual alternative to “The Dating Game;” one that will encourage you to shift your focus away from this game and toward making your life more balanced and complete.


If your life is not balanced and complete, you will not be prepared for or receptive to your next or most essential relationship.


To this end, the Flash Point Process is designed, not only to help you meet your relationship needs, but to prepare you for all the life lessons you need to experience a meaningful life, e.g. your career and spiritual path, as well as your health, physical, financial and emotional needs. The reason for this is that, if your relationship needs are not being met, there is a high probability that you have some basic and/or higher needs that are not being met. If your own needs are not being met, it will prove difficult to meet the needs of your significant other. When you can’t meet your needs, you will experience a void of peace and fulfillment. The purpose of this book is to help you fill this void by challenging you to implement your own Flash Point Experiment.

The Introduction will provide an overview of the Flash Point Experiment and the Flash Point Process, as well as definitions for the concepts in the chapters that follow it. Chapters 1 through 5 will introduce the 5-Steps, with their accompanying Primessential Principles, and the ACTION ITEMS associated with each Step. Chapter 6 will provide some real-life examples of how the 5-Steps can be applied to attain a meaningful life and fulfilling relationship.

The 5-Steps of the Flash Point Process:

  1. Ask the Question – “Ask and it shall be given unto you…” Matt. 7:7 – In order to identify and define the obstacles or problems that have prevented you from discovering your “most essential relationship,” ask: “What’s wrong with this picture?”
  2. Make the Commitment – “But seek ye first, the kingdom of God and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matt. 6:33 – In order to learn what’s needed to end your longing and fill your void, seek first, God’s will by making the “Commitment to See Clearly.”
  3. Extend the Invitation – “For your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.” Matt. 6:8 – Set aside your worldly wants and desires and invite the Lord to send the experience or relationship that is most essential for you to experience, COME WHAT MAY.
  4. Recognize the Path – “…he that seeketh, findeth.” Luke 11:10 Develop the capacity to recognize the path that can best provide the relationship that is most essential for your personal growth, spiritual development and physical well-being.
  5. Embrace the Experience – “Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27 Learn to love and accept, without fear, the experience and relationships that come with your path in order to understand their significance for your life. This lends meaning to each relationship and provides the insight necessary to attain a Mutually Beneficial Relationship

Praise for the Single Adult Workshop

“Excellent, wish it could have lasted all day, I loved the commonsense approach and how you put it all together. I’m excited to try the 90-day exercise. I had given up on meeting “Mr. Right” I feel more optimistic now.”

“A great plan to change things that you want to change in your life by trusting your life to God in finding your Most Essential Relationship.”
I most liked your easy to follow thoughts and the good illustrations.”

“Very practical information and examples; very challenging thoughts and ideas; the idea of being open to anything.”

“I loved Baxter’s presentation, humor, humility and real-life experiences Made me realize that there is a way to discover God’s plan for me.”

“Your seminar gave me the encouragement to take ownership of my situation and place in life. I like the concept of finding someone for who I am now and not who I want to be.”

“It focused on the main point: that one needs to stop looking for Mr. Right, the Lord has sent people into our lives for a reason. We need to seek first, His will.”

“Excellent workshop, it really changed my perspective on dating.”

The Flash Point Experiment